What can we say?♥♥

ok. Remember how long long ago i said that i hated mondays

to the max?

this week wasn't so bad:)

Yesterday, afternoon classes were cancelled and my dearest boyfriend

decided we should watch JANGAN TEGUR. WHEE!

OMG! i tell you the show was freaking memeranjatkan

not really scary la uh but damn the hell shocking.
HAHA. and macam budak biol

dinah step tak takot but in the end i had to hide behind

Izwan's smell-like-kong-guan-biscuit sleeve

-____-"

drop my glamour kan? yeah. i know

stupid baizura.

After that, had lunch at KFC and while waiting

i decided to doodle on his notes.

The result is that up there.

HAHAS.

I don' t even know why that dear boy carries a bag

other than to transport air from Sengkang to Yishun.

i tell you..

he can be soo lazy sometimes

BUT ILY.

now to get down to some serious mugging for economics test tomorrow.

pffftt..

inflation.. blah blah blah..

cost of production.. blah..blah..blah

what can't the world just stop war-ing?

Izwan and i went to Temasek JC to watch Semarak Temasek.
Pioneer was a let down. pffttt..
But non the less they tried their best.
It was a little boring.
But i can always depend on my dearest BIOLboy to make me laugh
On the way out, he went to the girl at the front desk and threw the programme booklet on the table while shouting
i kasi balek uh! to me
HAHAHA. tk giler ke tu?!

While Wan and i were just hanging out,
my dad called but i didnt pick up
cause i was thinking
he must be wondering where the heck i was and at what god-forsaken time will i be back etc etc..
naturally, i didnt bother to save me the hassle.

but then he texted
saying that my grandmother passed away..
and that we need to go. now.

you're right.
i shoud have just answered the phone.

Met Izwan yesterday after school.
Didn't feel like meeting him at first cause he
was pissed off at me.
He completely ignored me the whole day
and when i called, it was like having a meaningless conversation
whats the point of meeting when you feel like you know what's going to happen right?
i felt like i was going to lose him.
Like i knew what he was going to say.
But with a heavy heart i met him anyway.
what ever was going to happen has to happen.
even if all he wanted to say is that he's leaving..

At first we didn't talk.
i looked everywhere except straight into his eyes.
I felt like shooting myself in the head.
but then he explained to me everything.
it wasn't as bad as i imagined. Just some misunderstanding.
and he's still my BIOLboy!

So this is what it feels like to really love..
to be so damn afraid of losing your other half
that your day becomes a living hell.
but its all worth it.

ok dah.
dah abes emo dah.
so then then..
we went to Long John Silvers for lunch
and BIOLboy played the meanest most evil trick in the whole wide world on meeee!
He will distract me by saying something completely stupid
then when i was whale whale-ing away, he'll split my straw in half.
MEANIE! how to drink like that?!
so i took a video of how that selege did it because i was QUITE impressed.
hahah
quite je.

Ughh..
i hate mondays.
M-O-N-D-A-Y
is evil.
urgh..

what more to say. today was a horrible day.

So Shazwan decided that maybe taking a picture would cheer me up.
hahaha. Stupid.

i miss my boyfriend.
but he's all the way at Sengkang.
pffttt..
so far far away.
i want him here.
* points at a spot on the floor*
Just to go there je dah take 930874530 hours!
i wonder if i row a boat will it be faster?

Met Izwan today at Chinatown.
I dunno why but he likes to meet at weird places.
places where NORMAL people dont meet other people.
sape je jumpe kat chinatown?!
hahaha.
Anyway, temankan BIOLboy back to SENGKANG
cause he wants to change.
Then then then.. while i was waiting for him at the staircase his mum came and
met me.
drop my glamour by 40% can?
dah lah pakaian bukan macam perompuan melayu terakhir.
ishh..
talk about a bad first impression..

Walked aroud Bugis( i know.. don't say anything. ahaha)
where Wan, si tangan gatal, went to switch off the tv in BHG.
yes. the one where they advertise the products.
hahaah
ended up at the supreme court where we just sat and sing songs:)

i'm still getting used to the fact that he can't send me home
and that i have to make that trip back myself.
i guess having an east side boy is different from having west side boys.

No matter what, i can't let my feelings take control
of my rational mind.
Learn to reason and not be impulsive
because that is what will mess up a relationship.
even if it means hiding your true feelings.

i don't want to feel the pain anymore.
i want to let myself fall off the edge and break into pieces.
i want to lose my sanity
all i want is to let the pain fade away and disappear

i feel like i'm dying
and nobody is coming

Friday
Met Aisyah, Zhafri and Adib at cck
before heading down to Vivo.
Wanted to just hang out before Adib goes marching
off to NS and get all his nice hair shaved off.
HAHA dah tk macam TOM WELLING lagi.
Intended to watch a movie but the queue was freaking insane
sampat terbelit-belit
so scrap that and we headed down to the arcade.
HAHAHA.
Damn gila can. Girls with high heels, Boys with scarfs and the arcade don't go together.
Played air hockey and Zhafri couldn't stop ranting hpw it was noisy and stuff.
i swore he shouted '' aku tk suke arcade!'' for the whole of 15 minutes while he was shooting
spiders.
NS-boy-to-be cheated and put his whole arm at the goal when playing ice hockey
so i can't score.
tkpe uh.. nak masok NS nye pasal kasi chance uh.
Then Zhafri bought this really dumb $1 helicopter toy
and we played with it in the middle of vivo.
yes. kat tengah tengah vivo.
with the crowd and everything.
kecoh-rable.
But i had to leave half way to meet Wan at BUGIS
(macam tkde tempat lain. If you refer to previous posts all we ever do is go is to BUGIS. HAHA)

Saturday
Went to Adib's place for open house and doa selamat
before he is sent packing to tekong on Tuesday.
Played RISK; THE GAME OF GLOBAL DOMINATION.
haha. and i was almost ruling the world but the guys
were just kicking ass.
tak kasi chance langsung.
The saddest part was that i dropped my baby.
not izwan no (if i could carry him i would).. but my phone.
and the LCD cracked. The phone didn't just shut down. That would have been fine.
NO. The screen suddenly decided it has had enough of me dropping it and decided to crack.
But adib was nice enough to lend me his cause he says he has
to use some legend with no camera anyway.
HAHA.
THANKS SWEETS.

long story short.
now i have to repair my damn phone. Tk sampai 3 bulan and the phone already hates me.
but daddy said i could repair then sell it to get a new one:)
whee. waiting for the end of may:)
i wanna go shopping again..
in the mean time i shall be studying to kill time
and wait for april to fly by..

bi.
i miss you BIOLboy

i can only sing you sad songs
but i hope that you'll sing along
and if you don't know the words
we'll just hum to the melody
of that same sad song.
Because that is all that i can do.

i should learn to swallow.
and bite my tongue.
Not say whatever i feel like just o make me feel better.
because i don't need to feel better.
he does.
so just use your god-damn head for once dinah.
you know you can't live without him.

i miss you
make me better

GOLD AWARD FOR SYF CENTRAL JUDGING

because we're the best and the whole damn world knows it!

HAHAS..

all the lebams and bengkaks don't matter

anymore because its all freaking worth it.

we kicked ass and its all cause of you guys.

we persevered with blood, buckets of sweat and tears

and a hell lot of bandages and plasters!

i am so pround of you guys and damn ILY!

today

Met wan at outram.

i was supposed to meet him at 1pm but he said don't kluar until dier dah kluar.

so i waited.

He texted me when he was reaching sengkang MRT.

biolboy forgot that boon lay was at johor

and that buses in johor don't turn up on time.

hence the tardy habit of being late.

heheheh. Oops.

We went on an adventure around CHINATOWN.

yes. this time we really wanted to go there

and not just aimlessly end up there.

Got bored(as always) and decided to go to bugis.

Wan wanted to collect his watch since 903473243 days ago.

i know. LAMER KAN!but the shop was like

no no. not ready. come next week

Tak kan la lamer sangat nak repair jam.

jam tk hancur berderai kan?

kene import parts ke?

i bet you guys misplaced it!

dont deny! don't deny!

pffttttt...

yesterday on the phone:

me: bi, u nk jumpe bsk?

wan: tk tau. i ngaji

me: HUH?! sejak bile?!

wan: sejak besok.. i baru nk blajar

( inserts a very damn bangge face)

today in bugis:

wan: bi, i nk tindik uh.

me: HUH?! u kan ngaji!

wan:kak sedare i ajar. tkpe blh. cool pe!

so in the end, biolboy got his ear pierced!

pikiran whale whale.

LOST BI! LOST!

hahahah.

but i still love him.a whole lot.

meeting adib, zhaf, aisyah, ariff and farah tomorrow

as a farewell before adib goes into army

( salutes)

going to miss you crazy-camwhoring- chocolate-bringing soldier boy!

i didnt know where you were

or were you even ok.

I couldn't be there for you when you really needed someone

i wasn't able to pick you up when you fell

all i could do was stare at my damn phone and wait for it to ring.

I felt helpless and worried sick

but i didnt want to know that you were ok

i wanted to see that you're ok

My head was spinning out of control; feeding me nonsense
My heart says that i'll lose you forever

And you had to say those things.

Everything came crashing down.

I knew you didn't mean it.

but it still hurts

What they all said i was came flooding back.

Why they all left..why i'am like this

Why none lasted..Why i don't deserve anyone

And they all seem to be true now:(:(

I knew it was in a moment of anger,

You were in a difficult situation

I didn't have to cry

i wasn't making things any better.

Im sorry.

I really am.

maybe i should have considered your feelings too.

i knew i should.

I was just selfish.

Just like i was before.

I just didn't know how to handle this.

I shouldnt have slammed the phone.

you were right.

I didn't understand.

not even a little bit i guess.

But i was scared.

I was thinking straight. Hell, i wasn't even thinking.

Maybe, i should just get away for awhile?

i don't want to hurt him anymore

i love him too much

because he's my everything

but i'll try,

baby,

i swear i will

Harder than i had ever tried

because you are something i cannot afford to lose

You mean more to me than anything else in the world.

izwan,ILY

This whole week has been a damn hectic week.
Tarian practice is EVERY SINGLE DAY! HARI-HARI! TODAY,TOMORROW AND LUSA!
pfttt... tired
Common test results weren't that fantastic.
(i expected fantastic-er results..what a complete waste of mental space dinah)

Met dearest Izwan today after school:) and he accompanied
me home to get my tarian stuff.
I told him i'll be quick tapi tak sampai 15 minutes,
Mr i'm-the-most-patient-man-in-the-world texted and said that
he finished 4 cawan teh and i'm still not done.
go figures! HAHA

Had lunch in JP after that and then he sent me to school for lovely tarian
what else is there to say..
we are happy and full people.
On the way there, we had a really dumb conversation about the translating stuff into malay
me: bi, what do you call stingray in malay?
wan: ikan pari
me: whale?
wan: ikan paus
me: whale whale?
wan: ikan paus! ikan paus! itu u uh bi!
me: HAHA!tk! abeh NEMO?
wan: MANE ADE IKAN NEMO BI?! HAHAHA!
me: eh?! oh ya.. dier badot fish uh
wan: then fin in malay?
me: (confidently) SAYAP!
banyak aku nye sayap.. BIOLboy couldn't stop laughing

After tarian he sent me home( HE IS SUPER RAJIN TODAY! )
I told him that tarian ended at 8pm but i was about 45minutes late:P
yes,yes,
Mr I'm-the-most-patient-man-in-the-world
sent me 9257238570 msgs asking me where i was and was i crawling there.
kurang ajarnye anakk..

and then,

just a minute ago,

that dearest BIOLboy of mine
left me a note
(don't ask me when he wrote it because i sendiri am mushkil dalam my kepale otak)
and told me to read it.
i couldn't help but cry
because every word is sincere and hits me right to the bone
I LOVE YOU too.
always and forever.
i've built my world around you.
you are my everything.
the best part is,

i'm your everything too:):)

hahaha..surat cinta dah glam nampak.
save kat ipod ehk?!
sayang, sayang..HAHA